eatdixx's Diaryland Diary

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which would you rather hear?

on friday night when i was coming home on the tram, i put my laptop bag on the floor and read the paper. i'd had a few beers and been smoking joints in the city looking at old buildings with modi and was feelin pretty happy.

a couple of stops before my house i folded up my paper and noticed a lady watching me. she was middleaged and wearing all navy blue, she didn't really look very loopy.

'Is that your laptop?'
'yeah'
'are you taking it home?'
'yeah'
'are you lost without it?'
i thought for a minute and held her eyes, trying to think of an honest answer.
i smiled and said 'i am a bit, yeah. i'd like to be able to check my emails and that everything's ok with work, everyone's working back this weekend on a contract'.

she nodded and smiled at me as i picked up my laptop bag and we got off at the same stop.

as we both turned in opposite directions to cross the road, i said 'i'd much rather be baking a cake'. trying to make myself feel less pathetic about what i was really going to be doing on the computer in probably less than half an hour.

'oh that's a nice thing to do'
'yeah. good night'
'night'

if i was being honest, i could have said two things:

I'm going home to roll a joint, put on a movie and sit on a chat site. i'll talk to idiots all night about bullshit and probably regret it but at the moment it's all i can be arsed doing.

or,

i'm going home to download some porn. i'm going to try and find some of those free sample videos and jerk off while i watch some girl being fucked really hard in the arse while she's screaming and then i'll probably pass out and wake up and do it again.

being honest can be difficult sometimes i reckon. those little fags sitting opposite would have loved it but.

6:07 p.m. - 2005-12-10

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