eatdixx's Diaryland Diary

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i had to put it somewhere

i have to put this somewhere, it's driving me crazy.

i think it's all in my head, there's no fucking reason why i should keep thinking like this, but i can't stop. sometimes it makes me feel feverish, fixated.

IT’S TAKING ALL OF MY SELF CONTROL not to email him.

.........and I've been doing weird things...like, yesterday - cleaning the house playing johnny cash so loud the floor was shaking - i kept checking my front door in case. just in case you were there. but you weren't, and won't be, i just wanted you to be.


Ughhh, I want to know how you are, what you’re thinking and hear you laugh. but i don't want this mess to continue. i hope you stop reading this if it makes things harder. i really need this place to put my thoughts. i feel compromised. i hate this.

11:46 a.m. - 2005-07-25

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