eatdixx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it hurt but the burning sensation felt good today i went strolling around the local markets in the heat of the day. i had to hold my book over my eyes and squint, to keep out the dust. i found a few cheap pretty shirts that will be modest enough to wear on this retreat. there are the biggest cicadas i've ever seen, here. they're quite scary. this afternoon i was sitting at a table with a few old thai guys, trying to buy a bus ticket out of here for tomorrow, but they kept giggling and keeping me there for longer, rubbing tiger balm on my sore hand. it's getting better, but i still have to do up my bra at the front and twist it around, and i can't use a fork yet. so i went to watch prettin-nong, the thai lawn bowls game on gravel. some serious contenders, there. it was great. they're so noisy when they win! i was getting right into it, as a spectator, of course. too many people there for me to have a go, but i might go back. unless i leave tomorrow. i'm comfortable here, i've been in Pai now for five days, but i think it's time to move on through central thailand and make my way to bangkok, to begin the retreat on the 25th august. i've just realised that not only will i be quitting smoking at this retreat, [by the way i edited the paragraph marks out of it, it's easier to read now] but i can't jerk off. no smoking, reading, writing, jerking off, exercise [only walking allowed], no talking, no music. i think it's going to be the hardest thing i've ever done, and i hope i don't wimp out. [don't wimp out, don't wimp out.] i want to get to the end. i want to feel calm and satisfied with myself for being able to make it through. well, if other people can do it, and they've thoroughly enjoyed it, then so can i. 7:49 p.m. - 2004-08-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||