eatdixx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pai, In the Sky, North Of Chiang Mai it's late. again. i can't sleep. there's a party on down the road but i drank too much last night and ended up with two israeli boys in their guesthouse room, rolling them joints. neither of them are boys i'd usually get with, but i'm feeling particularly vulnerable, lonely and just need to boost my ego, really. kurt and i took the lady scooters over to Bebop, the only good bar in town that has a sexy bartender/singer that i can stare at for hours. she's hott. in that mazzy star kinda way. once in there, i sculled a long neck of chang beer, bought another one and drank that just as fast. then i started drinking whiskey. i'd already decided, i was getting DRUNK. felt like it. next thing i know, i'm slow dancing to a bad rendition of MY FAVOURITE SONG [all along the watchtower] with a thai boy that i'd smiled at, at the hot springs that afternoon. it turns out he was only pretending not to speak english. after the bar closed, my newly designated crew [i was on fire, you gather crew when you're on fire] headed down to The Bamboo Hut. which is that exactly. a bamboo hut with tables low to the ground, cushions to sit on. so i'm drinking thai whiskey and massaging haike's feet, she's laying on her tummy talking to a french man that has his eye on me, [i already decided i wouldn't like to have sex with him] various other crew are displaced around the hut, so i walk amongst the groups telling people high and smiling alot. attracting attention. feeling confident for the first time since i hurt myself. a few hours later the israeli boys have me in tears telling me how all israeli boys must join the army between 18-21. i cry. they hold my hands and tell me it's totally normal, everyone does it. that makes me cry even harder. we smoke the joint. they pass out. we listen to dylan, and lay down in a triangle, feet to ears, enjoying the moment. after he's walked me back to my room, i say goodnight and get into bed, pass out into a good sleep. i sleep all day, hungover, drinking from my water bottle beside my bed, thanking the stars that my sister also put into my medi kit, a 'rehydration hangover pill' WHICH IS ORSUM. now, after reading for a few hours, i can't sleep. i'm a bit depressed, a bit lonely. going out like that always makes me feel shallow, self conscious and silly. i'm getting worried about plans to move on, i want to move on from here but i've been waiting for three things to come into fruition: acceptance into vissipasna retreat; the trekkers to take me into the village and leave me with a family [where i'll learn to hunt, fish, and make their kinda jewellery - but mostly just smoke a lot of opium and talk shit with their shaman]; go to the monastery. I GOT INTO THE RETREAT!!! WOOOOOO!!!! the email is long and tediously full of thousands of instructions, suggestions, information and directions. see below. the main things that i've noted are that i'll have to get myself some more modest clothing; i cannot smoke any substances or cigarettes during the time i am there [GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO QUIT SMOKING]; no music [FUCK, FUCK FUCK!!] no contact with outside world. SO, if you need to get into contact with me, in case someone gets hurt or somesing, you can call this place and leave a message. i feel better now that i have some kind of definiteness happening. i will respond and confirm immediately. i will begin the course in seven days. which means that i'll start to head to bangkok from here tomorrow, cutting through the middle of thailand catching local buses and stopping in small villages. yeeehhaaaaa!!! p.s. I CAN'T TORK FOR TEN DAYS AT THIS SHIZZY YO!! TEN DAYS! NO TALKING! -------------------------------- 200 Baan Nernpasuk, Yoopasuk Road Tambon Dongkeelek, Muang District, Prachinburi 25000 Dear Amanda, We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted to participate in Vipassana meditation course to be held at the Dhamma Kamala Center in Prachinburi from…25/8/2004 to 5/9/2004..Therefore, all students are requested to reconfirm their booking immediately after they receive this e-mail or we assume that you cannot join the course. Your name will be automatically deleted from the list and the next person on the waiting list will be notified to take your place. COURSE REGISTRATION CANCELLATIONS **********At recent courses, both at Dhamma Kamala and Dhamma Abha students registered for courses have failed to show up and have not informed course organisers of their cancellations. Other students wishing to attend have been turned away as a result of apparently full registration. Moreover, since many factors depend on the number of students registered such as amount of food to be ordered, number of students needed, accommodation available etc., the task of organizing courses becomes more difficult. In case of you can not join the course, all students are also requested to cancel their course registration at least 7 days before the course starts or as soon as possible by e-mail. The contents of this email give information on arrival times, what to bring, driving directions and transportation options. Please arrive at the center between 3-5 p.m. on the day the course begins,......25/8/2004......... A light meal and orientation will follow. The course will end at approximately 7.30 a.m.on the last day,…..5/9/2004.... Old students taking a full course are expected to stay until the end of the course unless prior arrangement is made with the Assistant Teacher. Students should bring the following: Clothing : Bring enough comfortable, loosefitting clothing for 10 days as laundry facilities may be inadequate especially during rainy season. We recommend light weight cotton clothing and a sun protection hat. Rainy season here is sometime quite heavy and can be cold. Students should bring light sweaters or shawls (the center has enough umbrellas available for students' use). Students should observe the rules for modest dress as outlined in the Code of Discipline booklet. Shorts, tank tops, transparent, tight or revealing clothing, etc. are not permitted. Tights or leggings most be worn under a knee-length top or skirt, and not alone. Toiletries : Towel, bath soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, unscented deodorant, shaving and sanitary supplies, etc. Useful Items: Flashlight and batteries, unscented mosquito repellent, umbrella. Please Note : Students are asked not to bring any personal food to the Center. ***Please do not arrive before 3 p.m. on the day the course begins.*** ***You apply to sit this course of your own free will. Under no conditions shall you hold the Foundation and/or the Center responsible for any injuries which you might sustain during the course due to accidents, unavoidable circumstances, or your own negligence/health problems. Travel to the Center: 1. The center provides a direct chartered bus service on the day the course begins. Please reserve the seat, as seats are limited. The chartered bus is available for Baht 250 roundtrip. It leaves at 1 PM on the day of the course begins from Wat Phra Sri Mahatat which is located in Laksi, a northern suburb of Bangkok near the Bangkok airport. (Note: not to be confused with Wat Mahatat in downtown Bangkok). Please arrive at the temple grounds not later than 12:30 to allow enough time to find the bus, as the temple complex is large. Travel to Wat Phra Sri Mahatat by taxi will take at least 1 hour from Khao Sarn Road or downtown Bangkok, and about 30 minutes from Bangkok airport. 2. The Center can also be reached by public bus, although this requires a 1/2 kilometer walk from the main road. Buses leave from Bangkok’s Northern Bus Terminal ("Mor Chit 2"), likewise is located in northern suburb of Bangkok and it takes about an hour from Khao Sarn Road or downtown Bangkok to get to the bus terminal. It takes time to find the right counter and the waiting time between departures can be over an hour, so it is recommended that you depart for the bus station not later than 10 AM or earlier. Take the bus with the sign "Aranyaprathet" the final destination. The bus ride will take between 2-3 hours. About 1 1/2 - 2 hours after leaving Bangkok, the bus will stop at a bus terminal in a large town called Nakorn Nayok. Immediately afterwards it will turn onto national highway 33, with view of mountains in the distance on the left hand side. At this point, watch the kilometer markings on the road, reading the number that points directly to the center of the road. Ask to stop to get off the bus right after km 166 marking near a well known school called "Rong Rien (school) Thai Rath". Next to the school, in the direction that the bus is heading, is a road on the left hand side with a sign for Dhamma Kammala. Walk down this road to the Center which is about ? kilometer away. May your meditation prove most beneficial to you. With best wishes for success we offer you the following information. Vipassana Meditation in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin as taught by S.N, Goenka Introduction to the technique and Code of Discipline for meditation courses Introduction to the Technique Vipassana is one of India's most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gotama the Buddha more than 2500 years ago. Vipassana means seeing things as they really are. It is the process of self-purification by self-observation. One begins by observing the natural breath to concentrate the mind. With a sharpened awareness one proceeds to observe the changing nature of body and mind and experiences the universal truths of impermanence, suffering and egolessness. This truth-realization by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path (Dhamma)is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organized religion or sectarianism. For this reason, it can be freely practiced by everyone, at anytime, in any place, without conflict due to race, community or religion, and it will prove equally beneficial to one and all. What Vipassana is not: ' It is not a rite or ritual based on blind faith. ' It is neither an intellectual nor a philosophical entertainment. ' It is not a rest cure, a holiday, or an opportunity for socializing. ' It is not an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life. What Vipassana is: ' It is a technique that will eradicate suffering. ' It is an art of living that one can use to make positive contributions to society. ' It is a method of mental purification which allows one to face life's tensions and problems in a calm, balanced way. Vipassana meditation aims at the highest spiritual goals of total liberation and full enlightenment. Its purpose is never simply to cure physical disease. However, as a by-product of mental purification, many psychosomatic diseases are eradicated. In fact, Vipassana eliminates the three causes of all unhappiness: craving, aversion and ignorance. With continued practice, the meditation releases the tensions developed in everyday life, opening the knots tied by the old habit of reacting in an unbalanced way to pleasant and unpleasant situations. Although Vipassana was developed as a technique by the Buddha, its practice is not limited to Buddhists. There is absolutely no question of conversion. The technique works on the simple basis that all human beings share the same problems and a technique which can eradicate these problems will have a universal application. People from many religious denominations have experienced the benefits of Vipassana meditation, and have found no conflict with their profession of faith. Meditation and Self-discipline The process of self-purification by introspection is certainly never easy ----- students have to work very hard at it. By their own efforts students arrive at their own realizations; no one else can do this for them. Therefore, the meditation will suit only those willing to work seriously and observe the discipline, which is there for the benefit and protection of the meditators and is an integral part of the meditation practice. Ten days is certainly a very short time in which to penetrate the deepest levels of the unconscious mind and learn how to eradicate the complexes lying there. Continuity of the practice in seclusion is the secret of this technique's success. Rules and regulations have been developed keeping this practical aspect in mind. They are not primarily for the benefit of the teacher or the course management, nor are they negative expressions of tradition, orthodoxy or blind faith in some organized religion. Rather, they are based on the practical experience of thousands of meditators over the years and are both scientific and rational. Abiding by the rules creates a very conducive atmosphere for meditation; breaking them pollutes it. A student will have to stay for the entire period of the course. The other rules should also be carefully read and considered. Only those who feel that they can honestly and scrupulously follow the discipline should apply for admission. Those not prepared to make a determined effort will waste their time and, moreover, will disturb others who wish to work seriously. A prospective student should also understand that it would be both disadvantageous and inadvisable to leave without finishing the course upon finding the discipline too difficult. Likewise, it would be most unfortunate if, in spite of repeated reminders, a student does not follow the rules and has to be asked to leave. Persons with Serious Mental Disorders People with serious mental disorders have occasionally come to Vipassana courses with the unrealistic expectation that the technique will cure or alleviate their mental problems. Unstable interpersonal relationships and a history of various treatments can be additional factors which make it difficult for such people to benefit from, or even complete, a ten-day course. Our capacity as a nonprofessional volunteer organization makes it impossible for us to properly care for people with these backgrounds. Although Vipassana meditation is beneficial for most people, it is not a substitute for medical or psychiatric treatment and we do not recommend it for people with serious psychiatric disorders. The Code of Discipline The foundation of the practice is sila---moral conduct. Sila provides a basis for the development of samadhi---- concentration of mind; and purification of the mind is achieved through panna----the wisdom of insight. The precepts All those who attend a Vipassana course must conscientiously undertake the following five precepts during the course: 1. to abstain from killing any living creature; 2. to abstain from stealing; 3. to abstain from all sexual activity; 4. to abstain from telling lies; 5. to abstain from all intoxicants. There are three additional precepts which old students (that is, those who have completed a course with S.N. Goenka or one of his assistant teachers) are expected to follow: 6. to abstain from eating after midday; 7. to abstain from sensual entertainment and bodily decoration; 8. to abstain from using high or luxurious beds. Old students will observe the sixth precept by having only herb tea or fruit juice at the 5 p.m. break, whereas new students may have tea with milk and some furit. The teacher may excuse an old student from observing this precept for health reasons. The seventh and eighth precepts will be observed by all. Acceptance of the teacher and of the technique Students must declare themselves willing to comply fully and for the duration of the course with the teacher's guidance and instructions; that is, to observe the discipline and to meditate exactly as the teacher asks, without ignoring any part of the instructions, nor adding anything to them. This acceptance should be one of discrimination and understanding, not blind submission. Only with an attitude of trust can a student work diligently and thoroughly. Such confidence in the teacher and the technique is essential for success in meditation. Other techniques, rites, and forms of worship During the course it is absolutely essential that all forms of prayer, worship, or religious ceremony-----fasting, burning incense, counting beads, reciting mantras, singing and dancing, etc.----be discontinued. All other meditation techniques and healing or spiritual practices should also be suspended. This is not to condemn any other technique or practice, but to give a fair trial to the technique of Vipassana in its purity. Students are strongly advised that deliberately mixing other techniques of meditation with Vipassana will impede and even reverse their progress. Despite repeated warnings by the teacher, there have been cases in the past where students have intentionally mixed this technique with a ritual or another practice, and have done themselves a great disservice. Any doubts or confusion which may arise should always be clarified by meeting with the teacher. Interviews with the teacher Problems or questions regarding the meditation should be taken only to the teacher for clarification. The time between 12 noon and 1 p.m. is set aside for private interviews. Questions may also be asked in public between 9:00 and 9:30 p.m. in the meditation hall. Interview and question times are solely for the purpose of clarifying actual practical problems concerned with the technique. They are not to be regarded as opportunities to indulge in philosophical discussions or intellectual argument. The unique nature of Vipassana meditation can only be appreciated by putting it into practice and during the course students should concentrate exclusively on this task. Noble Silence All students must observe Noble Silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. Noble Silence means silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow students, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited. Students may, however, speak with the teacher whenever necessary and they may approach the management with any problems related to food, accommodation, health, etc. But even these contacts should be kept to a minimum. Students should cultivate the feeling that they are working in isolation. Couples Complete segregation of men and women is to be maintained. Couples, married or otherwise, should not contact each other in any way during the course. The same applies to friends, members of the same family, etc. Physical contact It is important that throughout the course there should be no physical contact whatsoever between persons of the same or the opposite sex. Yoga and physical exercise Although physical yoga and other exercises are compatible with Vipassana, they should be suspended during the course because proper secluded facilities are not available at the course site. Jogging is also not permitted. Student may exercise during rest periods by walking in the designated areas. Religious objects, rosaries, crystals, talismans, etc. No such items should be brought to the course site. If brought inadvertently they should be deposited with the management for the duration of the course. Intoxicants and drugs No drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants should be brought to the site; this also applies to tranquilizers, sleeping pills, and all other sedatives. Those taking medicines or drugs on a doctor's prescription should notify the teacher. Tobacco For the health and comfort of all students, smoking, chewing tobacco, and taking snuff are not permitted at the course. Food It is not possible to satisfy the special food preferences and requirements of all the meditators. Students are therefore kindly requested to make do with the simple vegetarian meals provided. The course management endeavors to prepare a balanced, wholesome menu suitable for meditation. If any students have been prescribed a special diet because of ill-health, they should inform the management at the time of application. Clothing Dress should be simple, modest, and comfortable. Tight, transparent, revealing, or otherwise striking clothing (such as shorts, short skirts, tights and leggings. sleeveless or skimpy tops) should not be worn. Sunbathing and partial nudity are not permitted. This is important in order to minimize distraction to others. Laundry and Bathing No washing machines or dryers are available, so students should bring sufficient clothing. Small items can be hand-washed. Bathing and laundry may be done only in the break periods and not during meditation hours. Outside contacts Students must remain within the course boundaries throughout the course. They may leave only with the specific consent of the teacher. No outside communication is allowed before the course ends. This includes letters, phone calls and visitors. In case of an emergency, a friend or relative may contact the management. Music, reading and writing. The playing of musical instruments, radios, etc. is not permitted. No reading or writing materials should be brought to the course. Students should not distract themselves by taking notes. The restriction on reading and writing is to emphasize the strictly practical nature of this meditation. Tape recorders and cameras - These may not be used except with the express permission of the teacher. We hope the above information is useful and wish you success in your search for spiritual growth. Be Happy! If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us. We are look forward to seeing you at the course. Best wishes, Thaveephol Ansusingh 11:45 p.m. - 2004-08-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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