eatdixx's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- google search: home made pipe bombs thank christ i leave this FREAKY FREAKY town tonight, for chang mai. fucken hell! the world's gone crazy! running with my heart beating faster than light through khao san road in the middle of the night after being dumped by tattoo boy, 'i don't have time for you, amanda, everyday i do tattoo', bla bla FUCKEN BLAH. [meanwhile i'm thinking wow, you kinda have a really mongy way of speaking english, you kinda have a lisp, yo] can i just say something spiteful right here? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK WITH SUCH A TINY DICK ANYWAY, fuck cunt. it's just that my pride is hurt, it takes a lot to even write about it, although after an hour of sitting in front of my fan choking back tears and cigarettes, opening and closing the door to my room, thinking about walking to the park but knowing that would ALSO be inviting trouble, which i definitely DON'T need more of right now, i picked up my aung san suu kyi book and read about someone elses battle with topics that are a lot more worthy of crying about than a stupid relationship that would never have worked out, anyway. fuck cunt!! boys are the same all over the fucking world! you cunts! all i could think of was how many times and faces i'd seen just like mine at that exact moment. i just got out of this cavelike room that reminds me of Running Bear's old room in dalgety street, with torquoise, feathers and buddhas everywhere, 'come, i'll teach you tantra, i unblock you, you 25 or 26, right? you need my help, you come in my room' so we're meditating facing each other, he's telling me things about myself that i already know but i play along with an innocent face to keep the charade going, all the time thinking about toddy saying GIRL, HE'S NOT FOR REAL, HE'LL TAKE ADVANTAGE, i hightailed it as soon as he started making me feel uncomfortable, but i don't think i left soon enough, i feel quite violated but my body feels good from the shoulder massage, so i'm laughing and smiling while feeling like a cheap whore. lucky he didn't try to overpower me, thank fuck for that. i escaped with my tantric virginity intact but my mind is quite soiled, YOU DIRTY, DIRTY TRICKY OLD THAI NASTY TANTRIC PIECE OF WORK. what the fuck is tantra anyway? this man definitely uses it as a way of getting into naive white girls pants, literally. god damn i should have listened to my gut feeling, but my curiosity got the better of me, and i'm a little bored today. HAHA!!! BAHAHAHAHAH!!!! SEE!!! ASIA IS CRAZY! he gave me an awesome torquoise ring, and a little buddha for my throat. i gave him nothing. the little cunt! he's lucky i didn't punch him in his tantric face! grrrrrrrrrr. i feel like making a pipe bomb and depositing it through his little tiny window, and blowing his buddhas and karma to smithereens. smithereens. is that a word? my bus leaves at 6pm tonight, i'm going to meet up with belgium kurt and keep checking my email to see if i've been accepted into the meditation retreat that starts 25 august, which my orange coloured lady friend is attending currently. thank you to my peepz, for helping me through my last week. my bruises are healing and my left hand is almost usable, i managed to put my bra on today, and i just wanted to say that it was orsum to talk to you kizate, and fuck i miss you all, and i really appreciate you helping me get through this adventure. amongst all the crap i'm having a fully rad time. [thumbs up] 2:19 p.m. - 2004-08-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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